Merry Christmas to All!!!

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m sitting here in my Christmas Eve outfit, yeah I’m going to midnight mass even though I’m really tired from working earlier in the day but I rather go to midnight mass so I can sleep in in the morning.

So I hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas and that you get EVERYTHING you asked for on your list.

Oh yes I have something really exciting to say:

“I GOT A NEW COMPUTER!!!!!” To which I say FINALLY!!!

It’s been awhile since I had my own computer and now I have one. I love it by the way, I bought it myself and I deserve it. I worked hard and saved up for it and now I got it and I don’t want anything to happen to it so…um…yeah!

Anyways I just had this little blurb to say, mainly because I like the way my new keyboard sounds when I press the buttons on it and wanted to blog.

So as it was once said…

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

I’m Trapped can anyone HELP ME!?!?!?!?

 

So things have not been going okay for me, well I mean the only good thing that has happened to me has been that I have a job…about time to. I’m just a seasonal associate but hey money is money.

Anyways my younger brother came home from the Military and it’s been HORRIBLE since he came home I hate it. I mean it was bad that when he wasn’t here for me and now that he’s back it’s like ten times worse. I’m getting more crap from him and my sister than I’ve ever had in my entire life.

I’m feeling trapped with no way out.

So awhile ago I was down using my dad’s computer because mine is still dead (oh well) and I was already down here and didn’t feel like leaving and I heard my sister and her boyfriend having sex. It’s like really? They boy knew I was down here using my dad’s computer, I digress. Anyways I told my mom about it and my sister was standing in the stair well to the basement steps listening to me and my mom talk. Now I wasn’t complaining I wasn’t, it’s just it seems to happen a lot to me everywhere I go someone is having sex around me whether it’s in reality or virtual reality or when I’m in the room I have to hear people having sex. I’m like a magnet for it. So anyways I was saying it JOKINGLY to my mom about it because it’s funny in a way. However it’s also like really? Aren’t you the slightest bit embarrass that I could hear you? I would be.

Anyways Wednesday night I heard my sister and my brother complaining about how I complained about the sex thing. I wasn’t complaining about it I was joking about it. They both said I have no respect for them or anyone else.

You want to talk about respect? I have none in my house no one respects me, and my sister is ALWAYS complaining about how I butt into her conversations and how she has no privacy well excuse me but you did the same thing to me when I was talking to my mom. So it’s like its okay for her to do something but not me.

Oh yes I overheard my sister say something that really upset me, now the boy (I call the boyfriend that) has visited me twice since we’ve started dating. Both times my sister didn’t even TRY to get to know him no she just writes him off from appearance. So Wednesday night I heard her say and I quote to my younger brother “I can’t wait for you to meet him he’s a fucking retard.”

That’s not right to him or to me, oh and she said something about how I please myself to him when I talk to him on yahoo messenger which is not true by any means. She has this thing in her head that when I’m using my dad’s computer I’m looking at porn and I’m not.

Anyways my sister has no right to say that about the boy, he did absolutely nothing to piss my sister off, and for her to sit there and disrespect him like that is not right. Once again I digress.

I’ve also done nothing and I mean NOTHING for my sister and my younger brother to hate me and yet they do. It’s not fair I don’t deserve this and I just don’t know what to do.

I’m feeling trapped with no way out.

I’m falling for Autumn!

It’s been awhile since I blogged last, I was going crazy…well okay that’s a lie I wasn’t but I was looking for a job (yupe still unemployed) I’ve had job interviews here and there but nothing so far. It’s so frustrating, know what I mean?

So it’s fall, the leaves changing color, t.v. shows come back for last seasons, new seasons, and new series. The holiday season is almost upon us, to which my favorite holiday is coming up…HALLOWEEN!

I love Halloween, getting to wear costumes knocking on strangers doors and demanding they give you free stuff I mean what’s better than that? It’s not only that but the history of Halloween and how it originated also makes me interested in it, it’s such a rich holiday. I should move on because I know once I get started on something I can keep going and I’ve got more to say…tragic I know.

So almost a month ago I got a visit from an out-of-town guess, but first I need to give a bit of a back story for you to understand it. So I meet this guy (yeah a guy) in this game I play called Second Life, we meet about a year ago. We never really talked and I mostly talked to his best friend well just recently this year we were getting closer and started talking and hanging out more (in SL) and we started role playing me, him, and our mutual friend. Well at the time when I was dating his friend which I know is crazy to say that I was dating someone in a game but I’ve done it before, anyways we started to role play and I guess the roleplay we were doing the two of us (me and Allen) and I guess we developed feelings for each other.

Now here’s where it gets bad about May is when we started dating and I kind of broke up with our mutual friend to date him. I know it’s horrible but me and our friend were heading south he just didn’t want to talk or hang out with me which is why I got closer with Allen. By the way his name is Allen.

So this brings me to present time and the fact that Allen who lives in New Hampshire and is much younger than me (though that doesn’t bother him) has visited me here in Illinois not once but twice. Yeah he like just let the first of this month, and I already miss him. So anyways I have to say this…ALLEN IS MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!

I know it’s weird but he is, I love him a lot and well when he was here the second time we…well I did something for the first time that I never thought I’d do. No my virginity is still in tact but he did…um…*blushes.* I know I’d have a guy friend of mine say good you needed it (rolls eyes) because to him I need to have sex.

Moving on, I love Allen deeply we talk every night on yahoo messenger and it works for us being able to talk and see each other even though we’re in different states. It sucks though because the second time he was here was for a week and a half and we cuddle like every night he was here and I miss that deeply. That and getting to kiss him and be silly with him.

Normally I don’t go for long distance relationships because I always end up getting hurt, but with him it’s different. I can actually do it with him and yeah it’s hard but when we do get to be with each other it’s great. He’s a nerd which is fine with me because so am I, we have so much in common it’s scary.

We can also literally read each others minds and finish each others sentences it’s even scarier. He makes me laugh which is so important to me and as corny and cheesy some of the things he says to me it makes me all giddy on the inside and super happy like a little school girl.

He makes me blush to even if he doesn’t notice it….

I can talk to him about anything and he gets me and understands me and I love him very much for it, that and he wants to spoil me rotten even though I wont let him.

I’m too independent for my own good….

HOWEVER he bought me a diamond candle and as much as I didn’t want him to (unless it’s like for Christmas) I’m super excited for it to come. I can’t wait to burn it and find my diamond ring in it.

*Yawn*

Alright I guess that yawn means it’s time for bed since it’s 2:23am my time. Night everyone.

XOXO

Theresa I. Ellis

P.S. I’m STILL without a computer hopefully I can get one soon.

Things might be looking up!

So things might be looking up for me, I have two job interviews coming up. One is this Thursday August ninth the other one is next Wednesday on the fifteenth. Hopefully one of these will be yeses. Cross your fingers!

Anyways I say this a lot because its true, I’m not the greatest cook in the world I don’t pretend to be but I do what I can when I do cook. I’m a baker I bake like no tomorrow and I can do breakfast okay but I mostly bake. My cookies are to die for apparently and I make a good pumpkin chai cheesecake with caramel rum sauce.

But other than that I am not a cook. So I made dinner tonight I don’t normally cook because…well look above anyways I made pork chops and I breaded them with some Italian breadcrumbs, flour, salt, and pepper and I did okay for cooking pork like that for the first time. I also made some mashed potatoes (from a box) and we had some left over sides I pulled out it was a nice little dinner.

So what does my sister and her ridiculous boyfriend do? They ordered pizza, its like HELLO I WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO MAKE DINNER AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO EAT IT!?!?!?!?! They are always complaining that no one makes dinner in the house besides them but yet when someone does (like me or my older bro) they don’t eat it.

I personally find it rude and disrespectful and a waste of food. They are always talking about respect and how they don’t seem to be getting it in the house well HELLO how do you expect someone to respect you when you don’t respect them.

That and I understand they’re mad about me about this stupid fight but I don’t deserve to be treated like I’m nothing and that I don’t exist. Whatever I hope they move out soon.

Night!

I’m saying night before I go on and on.

What’s up?

I know its been awhile since I last posted…okay well months. I’ve sort of been busy if you can call lounging around busy.

I’ve mostly been trying to find a job this whole summer as well as fighting with my older sister. We just have very big differences and she just doesn’t get me anymore, I don’t know what to do. Some of the things she says to me make me feel really bad about myself it got so bad that last week I guess her and her boyfriend broke-up (I guess they’re back together) and blamed me. Can you believe that?

To be honest I don’t know how he can deal with her, I mean what kind of guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl that treats her family like pieces of garbage?
Like she’s always putting me down, she makes fun of me, criticizes me, talks about me behind my back, and lies about me to my younger brother. Who does that?

Now I don’t want to sound hypocritical and I have talked about her behind her back but that’s to my mother and she’s kind of at wits-end with her as well, because my sister is always giving my mom attitude.

I just don’t understand why she has to act so mean to everyone. She gives it to me ten times worse than anyone else. She’s always trying to control everything I do and she complains when I don’t clean or cook dinner enough. Now I am not the greatest cook in the world I’m a baker I bake like no tomorrow but I do what I can when I cook and every time I TRY to cook she either takes over for me or she doesn’t eat what I make. How rude is that?
I believe I got side-tracked, anyways this last fight we had I TRIED to nip it in the bud I took myself out of that situation and she comes running after me trying to solve it, even when I told her to LEAVE ME ALONE she still didn’t. It’s like um…HELLO WHEN I SAY LEAVE ME ALONE I MEAN IT!!!!

Well needless to say after that fight she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’m sort of okay with that and I’m kind of not, but what can I do?

It’s not fair for her to treat me this way.

Oh yeah and I had this guy come and visit me (he lives in New Hampshire) and she was kind of rude to him. She says I make her feel guilty about things nope it’s the other way around. So me and this guy (we’ll call him Allen…hehe) had just spent the day in Chicago and it was REALLY hot that day and we walked for a really long time, anyways we got home and we were dead tired and my sister asks if we wanted to go to a bar since we really didn’t have any plans. We BOTH told her that we we’re tired and I had gotten dehydrated (a lesson kids always hydrate) and she kept hounding us saying ‘it’ll be fun, and the drinks are free, come on’ and we finally caved and went. We didn’t have a good time and I didn’t want to drink but yet again they guilt-ed me into drinking.

So anyways me and my sister had a fight after Allen left and she said we didn’t say thanks and I TRIED telling her that we didn’t have fun and that we didn’t want to go anyways. I don’t think she believed me…..whatever!

I think I need to stop I could go on and on and on about my sister, I didn’t really get to talk about what’s going on with me…well there’s always next post.

Bye

Thing a Day Blogger Challenge: Day 3 & 4!

I know its been awhile since I’ve updated and I haven’t even finished this 10 day blogger challenge thing, well here’s day 3 and 4, it’s not like anyone reads this blog but here goes.

Day 3: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Make me laugh

2. Be honest.

3. Make me question our relationship, I know this seems odd but it keeps me guessing and on my toes.

4. NEVER buy me things unless for my birthday or christmas, I’m independent and if I can’t buy it then I don’t need it as much as I thought I did.

5. Don’t surprise me, I don’t like surprises

6. Be sweet

7. Be smart I want to be able to have a meaningful and intellectual conversation.

8. Trust me, this is the most important one.

Day 4: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Will I ever get married?

2. Will I ever get a job?

3. Will I ever have kids?

4. When am I going to be done with my degree?

5. Why can’t I loose weight?

6. I’m feeling depressed today

7. I don’t like my sister’s boyfriend today.

Day 2: Thing a Day Blogger Challenge!

So it’s day two and I’ve done this a few times because I don’t have anything to hide from anyone, but I guess since this question is about myself then I better do it right? Well here goes.

 

Day 2: Nine things about yourself.

1. I’m a sarcastic person, some people hate it but other people find me funny.

2. I’m a virgin, I know it’s lame for being 27 years old but I guess because I’m plus size not too many guys want to date someone of my….physice.

3. I’m terrible at spelling, I know I am and I know I sometimes have grammar issues but I am very good at English.

4. I haven’t dated much, much for the reason number 2.

5. I’m studying Interior Design, I’m hoping to be done in another year or so.

6. I use to play the violin, I still do and I do own my own instrument but I’m nowhere near where I use to be.

7. To me I think I have a case of acute depression, at certain times I get really depress where I want to kill myself and I shy away from everyone and I don’t talk to anyone.

8. I watch way too much t.v. and I like it.

9. I love to read, and I like to read everything I can try to get my hands on. I am looking for new stuff to read so if anyone knows some good books let me know….lol